


Christmas Cheer, Doom style

by Coldwin



Category: Voltron - Fandom
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-29
Updated: 2010-08-29
Packaged: 2017-10-11 08:11:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/110272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coldwin/pseuds/Coldwin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A humorous tale of Christmas misadventures</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas Cheer, Doom style

**Author's Note:**

> It was a cold clear winters night, a brisk wind played across the Castle of Lions causing the pennants and flags to flutter softly.

It was a cold clear winters night, a brisk wind played across the Castle of Lions causing the pennants and flags to flutter softly.

Inside the castle people, both noble and common went on with their lives, warm and content.

Cossack the Terrible on the other hand drew his cloak tighter about him and turned a scowl on the short brown witch beside him. "Haggar I think that little brown hood of yours is way to tight."

"Stop your complaining Cossack, this is a brilliant plan."

"Come on Haggar, you expect me to believe humans are dumb enough to believe some fat guy with an elf fetish goes around the universe in one night, slides his fat ass down their chimney to give them stuff with just some cookies for his trouble?"

"Yes Cossack, that's what I'm telling you."

"Even the Voltron force isn't that stupid!"

"The believed Alfor came back as a white lion, even after it became a robeast."

"Oh yea, then they believed that Lotor had gone all goody goody." Cossack said snickering.

"Lets not forget how many spies we've sent in under the 'I escaped those mean evil Doomites' scheme." Haggar said her lips twisted into a smirk.

"Oh yea like Twila, Count Zane, the robeast in the iron mask."

The Doomites shared a moment of companionable silence amused at the naivete before Cossack spoke again. "Hey Haggar?"

"Yes?"

"They are pretty stupid aren't they?"

"Indeed."

"This plan still wont work."

"What now?"

"There is no chimney or fireplace."

The witch waved her arm and with a slight grinding noise a section of the roof rearranged itself and a earth style chimney sprouted.

"Subtle Haggar."

"Shut up and get going." She raised her staff and Cossack's uniform became a red suit and false beard.

"What am I supposed to say if they ask about the fireplace from nowhere?"

"Tell them you're Santa and it's magic."

"Uh huh, and the blue skin and yellow eyes?"

"It's cold out here, and you haven't been sleeping well." Before he could protest further Haggar shoved him sharply, causing him to fall backwards and be sucked into the chimney.

Haggar chortled to herself, if he ever leaves the fleet he'll make a great chimney sweep.

Down below in a cloud of sooty ash Cossack coughed and stood up, only to find himself being stared at by the hard faces of the entire Voltron force.

"Cossack!" Allura exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"No no, I'm Santa Claus, ha ha ha." He paused. "I mean ho ho ho. Merry Christmas!"

"You're not Santa." Pidge said with absolute certainty.

"Oh yea?" Cossack asked, his ego pricked at being questioned by a prepubescent human who wore spandex for a living. "What makes you say so?"

Hunk smirked. "Because Santa would know we're Jewish."

"Did I say merry Christmas? I meant to say Feliz Navidad!"

"Cossack."

"What?"

"That's merry Christmas in Spanish." Lance said, rising to his feet with a smirk on his face.

"Happy Ramadan?" Cossack asked hopefully backing toward the fireplace.

"Chanukah!" The answered advancing toward him en mass.

"Haggar get me out of here!" He cried and was sucked up the chimney.

Later on the ride back to Doom Cossack sulked in his command chair while the old witch proceeded to harangue him about ruining a perfectly fool proof plan.

"Hey Haggar." he interjected.

"What?"

"Go Kwanza yourself!"


End file.
